In a continuation of the prior post (I want my mommy!)
I wanted my mommy like no one has ever wanted anything more in life itself. Having to leave her in the funeral parlor I was taken to my Sibling #6 house and went straight to the twin sized bed that I shared with the children. I just laid down and wanted for the next day to arrive simply because I wanted to see my mother again. Everyone in the house that night went about thier ways and to bed. I was laying down in the dark room reminiscing of the day in the funeral parlor with my mommy closed my eyes as I was dozing a bit off but couldn’t fall asleep I recall opening my eyes as I heard my sibling in the room next door softly crying which was somewhat surprising to me since I never seen my sibling ever cry or show any sort of emotion in any situation. As i turned on my side I opened my eyes and while hearing my sibling cry I saw my mother standing over me looking down at me she was dressed just like she was in the funeral parlor, the look in her eyes was the same look she had once given me the last time I saw her alive in the hospital. At that moment I didn’t become frightened so i cried and fell asleep.
Few hours past and it was already morning I don’t recall the mornings agendas or ever even getting up from the bed my world felt like I went to sleep and opened my eyes to once again be next to my mother’s coffin, that day was the hardest of them all that was the day when I learned what happens when it’s time to take the body to the cemetery I was physically forced off and away from my mother’s casket just so they can close the casket I was pulled away from her and was held in the middle of the room as I watched from a distance the moment they slowly closed her casket.
In those very seconds I felt like my life was being ripped away from me life felt so unfair I watched how they placed my mother in the hurse and in a blink of an eye I was in front of this grave hole witnessing my mother’s body being brought into the ground even in those very seconds I wanted to jump inside with her and never leave her side a part of my heart along with my life was buried along side with my mother.
I knew it was time to say my final goodbye as I placed a white rose on top of her grave and expressed how much I loved and needed her so much and overall how much I’ll miss her. I walked away as life itself became a blur leaving the cemetery main gates still quietly within saying goodbye mommy and telling myself that I would never ever see my mother’s face feel her touch smell her scent ever again and that Goodbye means Forever.