Some to everything we experience in life we take to the grave. Then again for people like myself don’t want to take anything but one thing.
The one thing I want to take with me when I am long and gone As a mother is the never-ending Love I have in my heart for my children. Everything else will be told. So with that said lets tell all , As a very little youngster, as far as I can remember I don’t ever remember being truly and deeply loved , I recall one loving affectionate time when I got sick badly and my Mother caressed my small face and stroked my hair. I don’t remember ever being hugged ,kissed on the forehead or a blessing. To think there were so many people around me, yet I felt alone, I craved attention amongst the obvious, My siblings were for the most part mean and distant maybe because they were teenagers, I didn’t have a father so being loved by who supposed to be my shinning night and armor my hero was absent, loving prostitutes he pimped out after him and my mother separated. All my life I felt as I was a burden & nuisance to everyone. Forcing me to face all my childhood years and even adult years on my own. Not that I’m in sorrow because I am a strong person and my intelligence tells me from experiences that even in my relationships I find myself at times feeling just like as I did when I was young Alone! It’s such a harsh feeling what I do feel is that the unloved life I was given as a child lingered on to adulthood . But why ? I’ve come to grow many bonds with people that respect me and need me but yet their love is never truly skin deep. Even at times with my own children I feel as they don’t want to be apart of my world my life. But then again I never taught them affection because that’s something I don’t k ow how to do. Yes I give hugs and loveable jesters at times but it’s something myself and their father didn’t teach them or give them as much as a parent should . I admit my fault and I am forever apologetic because I know this is something everyone needs. The beauty of a gentle touch is a healing & therapeutic one. Many won’t ever know of the simple touch of a hand ,and when you do they wouldn’t know what it is or how to accept it because your so numb that your skin doesn’t feel or know the one thing so many take for granted the simple and smallest things as a touch. Even shaking hands feels like alligator skin just plan roughness. Maybe it’s to late for me but I advise and urge all to hug your kids from the moment they are born to the ending days , involve them in events , conversations and festivities etc: never make them feel as a burden and most importantly ever make them feel unloved, because it will damage them beyond fixture. It will be carried on to the next generations .. If there was one thing I’ve learned is the one thing many don’t even know the answer to , What is the purpose of life ? Some might say to live happily, healthy, wealthy , accomplished even might say, But the one thing that brought us here in the first place. LOVE ! Some might be now questioning my discovery well let me explain … for everything in life you have to Love what you do in order to be happy, healthy , wealthy & accomplished etc etc :: If you hate or dislike what you do then you won’t be happy without happiness you become ill , and won’t be able to become wealthy and or accomplish anything in life but with everything in And around and out of Love will help you find your individual purpose in life. Love . So why is it so hard to give , show & receive ? We may never know the correct answer but one place you can start is loving yourself so much that it’ll be ok when others are distasteful, hurtful, nasty, mean to you. People who don’t love themselves can’t and won’t ever know what it is to Love another. As for myself I’ll continue to Love those who have my heart for and continue to wait for that God sent warm handed touch and caress , of a Love so pure that I won’t have to question.
With Love .. 💕